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Anxieties, Fears, and Phobias

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Not all fears are created equally. Rather, they come in various degrees of intensity: Let me explain the differences. Anxiety is the dread of a potential danger or loss in the future (e.g., possible terrorist attack); fear is the emotional response to a real or perceived present danger or threat (e.g., being followed); and a phobia is a fear gone wild. It is an irrational dread (e.g., fear of elevators) that seeks to avoid repeating a negative experience.

I’ve modeled the pattern. I saw my fear of earthquakes progress from anxiety about the predicted “big one,” to extreme fear during a significant temblor, to quake-phobia in which I kept an overnight bag packed by the door. Further, until recently, I flatly refused to visit San Francisco under any circumstance due to its devastating quakes. It’s no wonder that Paul admonished, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6). He knew that if we didn’t nip anxiety in the bud, it would progress in its intensity and get a stronghold on our lives.

Whether an anxiety, fear, or phobia, Scripture declares that fear is not from God. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). As a woman of faith, I believe this and I passionately teach it. I also know that “believing is behaving.” Therefore, in the final analysis, our behavior is the decisive test of what we really believe. When we succumb to the “spirit of fear,” it is because we have embraced an erroneous belief about God and His ability or willingness to deliver us from the fear-triggering situation, person, or thing.

I have concluded that I will probably always have to battle one fear or another; however, I have resolved that I will not allow any of them to hinder my progress or derail my destiny. It was Mark Twain who remarked, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.”

Winning Over Fear

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Fear is perhaps the oldest emotion known to mankind. Over the years, it has often been my greatest friend—and my greatest enemy. I was raised in a strict Pentecostal environment in the Deep South. My pastor, parents, and Sunday school teachers constantly warned that Jesus could return to the earth at any moment to “catch away” His people. They cautioned that anyone He found committing any kind of sin would face eternal damnation; there would be no mercy. When I went away to college and experienced freedom from my parents’ control, the fear of burning in a lake of fire and brimstone haunted me like a ghost.

In retrospect, I realize that this fear worked to my advantage. It was a real deterrent to the temptations that surrounded me: illicit drugs, sex, and wild parties.  However, once I graduated, moved to the big city (Los Angeles), and started a life on my own, I faced a host of debilitating fears. These fears were an enemy to my quality of life: fear of flying to my corporate assignments, fear of living in an apartment all alone, fear that every man I met was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, fear that any day a major earthquake would swallow up Los Angeles, fear of crossing over a tall bridge. On and on went the torment.

Let me hasten to say that fear is not always a bad thing. Fear is a natural response to real or perceived danger. Healthy fear causes us to lock our car doors, buy alarm systems, and to look both ways before crossing the street. Fear becomes unhealthy, however, when it controls our behavior and keeps us from doing positive things.

Fear is learned behavior. We can learn it from childhood conditioning, personal experience, observation of other people’s experience, media exposure, or other channels of information. Over the years, my apprehensions and trepidations learned through all these channels have been persistent; however, I have been equally persistent in my quest to overcome them.

I’ve modeled the pattern. I saw my fear of earthquakes progress from anxiety about the predicted “big one,” to extreme fear during a significant temblor, to quake-phobia in which I kept an overnight bag packed by the door. Further, until recently, I flatly refused to visit San Francisco under any circumstance due to its devastating quakes. It’s no wonder that Paul admonished, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6). He knew that if we didn’t nip anxiety in the bud, it would progress in its intensity and get a stronghold in our lives.

Scripture declares that fear is not from God. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). As a woman of faith, I believe this and I passionately teach it. I also know that “believing is behaving.” Therefore, in the final analysis, our behavior is the decisive test of what we really believe. When we succumb to the “spirit of fear,” it is because we have embraced an erroneous belief about God and His ability or willingness to deliver us from the fear-triggering situation, person, or thing.

I have concluded that I will probably always have to battle one fear or another; however, I have resolved that I will not allow any of them to hinder my progress or derail my destiny. I’m going to run toward this emotional giant and conquer it!

5 Ways To Release Tension

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We cannot avoid stress-producing or anxiety-provoking circumstances—they are a natural consequence of life on Planet Earth. But there are effective ways to lessen their impact on our minds and bodies. In addition to walking, running, and other activities, we can begin to practice ways to release the tension that builds up in us when we experience such situations. Here are a few strategies that I use and find them to be pretty effective.

  1. Take a deep breath. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I’m working at warp speed or something is going on that threatens to stress me, I find that my breathing becomes shallow. Other times it seems that I literally forget to breathe. Taking a deep breath can do wonders in diffusing the tension that you may be feeling. Deep breathing relaxes you because it lowers your heart rate and circulates extra oxygen to various parts of the body. Here’s the scoop on how to get the most out of it. I’m not sure where I first learned this, but I have practiced it for years.   Pretend that your stomach is a balloon. Inhale rather loudly and slowly through your nostrils (mouth closed) counting to ten. Fill your diaphragm area as if it were a balloon. Listen only to your breathing; it should sound like the ocean. Exhale slowly through your mouth, making a hissing sound with your teeth together. Listen only to your breathing. Take the entire ten seconds to exhale. Repeat five to ten times throughout the day depending on the amount of stress that you are feeling. Obviously, this exercise has to be done in private; however, if you feel that you need to do it immediately, just skip the sound effects and breathe quietly but deeply. This is also a good exercise to do when you get into bed at night. When done with the sound effects, it can be very effective in shutting down your over-active mind.
  2. Squeeze an anti-stress ball or gadget. These come in several shapes. I have one that is shaped like a cellular phone, another like a mini-calculator and one like a tennis ball. Simply squeezing it as tightly as you’d like relieves tension. These are usually available at an office supply store.
  3. Whistle. I attended a celebration recently and as part of the festivities, all the guests received a paper funnel horn to blow at certain intervals during the program. I left the horn in my car and forgot about it. Shortly thereafter, I was driving down the street and became so exasperated with insensitive, bad drivers that I just pulled the paper horn from the side pocket of the door and blew it with all my might. What a relief! Of course, the windows were up and no one heard it except me. Any whistle will do the trick, so you might want to pick up one.
  4. Sing. When Paul and Silas were jailed for preaching the gospel, they chose to sing. “Around midnight, Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening” (Acts 16:25). I have found that a nice worship song that ushers me into the presence of God and floods my soul with peace.
  5. Self-Massage. Learn to massage your tense areas yourself.   If you find it a little difficult to reach your shoulders and neck effectively, put a small baseball in a long sock and lean against it on a wall. You can control the intensity of the pressure by how hard you press against the wall. This also feels great on the lower back.

These are just a few of the strategies that you can employ in lieu of drumming your fingers, complaining, and engaging other annoying and unproductive habits.

What are some other ways you’ve found to be effective in releasing tension throughout your day? I would love to hear about them in the comments section below.

Deborah