As I write this, it's been five nights since my husband, Darnell, left for Kansas City to visit his ailing brother; however, it seems much longer because I've spent each night alone in our home—a major accomplishment for me in over thirty-two years of marriage! Until now, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The fact that we'd had a burglary a few years ago only added to my apprehension. At the time, I thought I would always experience anxiety when entering our home—especially the master bedroom from which major items had been stolen. However, by the grace of God, I took immediate and proactive steps to overcome my fear and have enjoyed many restful nights since—with Darnell by my side of course.

Now, when I decided to write a book on how to tame fears, I thought it would be downright hypocritical to proclaim life-changing principles and strategies on how to neutralize fears and not practice them myself. So, for the sake of integrity and my own deliverance, here I sit…home alone…late at night. So far so good.

Darnell is due back tomorrow. I've already resisted the temptation to work all night over the past few days to avoid going to bed during the hours of darkness. I also did not ask a friend to stay with me, nor did I choose to spend the time at one of my many relatives. While I have had a few bouts of nighttime anxiety, I have already declared my victory since my goal was not to allow fear to dictate my behavior. I now know that I can and will stay home alone again when Darnell has to leave town—for I was not alone. I have meditated on and recited Psalm 91:11 so many times over the past five nights that a scan of my brain would probably show these words: "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways" (NIV).

Fear is perhaps the oldest emotion known to mankind. Over the years, it has often been my greatest friend—and my greatest enemy. I was raised in a strict Pentecostal environment in the Deep South. My pastor, parents, and Sunday school teachers constantly warned that Jesus could return to the earth at any moment to "catch away" His people. They cautioned that anyone He found committing any kind of sin would face eternal damnation; there would be no mercy. When I went away to college and experienced freedom from parental control, the fear of burning in a lake of fire and brimstone haunted me like a ghost.

In retrospect, I realize that this fear worked to my advantage. It was a real deterrent to the temptations that surrounded me: illicit drugs, sex, and wild parties, to name a few. However, once I graduated, moved to the big city (Los Angeles), and started a life on my own, I faced a host of debilitating fears. These fears were an enemy to my quality of life: fear of flying to my corporate assignments, fear of living in an apartment all alone, fear that every man I met was a wolf in sheep's clothing, fear that any day a major earthquake would swallow up Los Angeles, fear of crossing over a tall bridge. On and on went the torment.

Let me hasten to say that fear is not always a bad thing. Fear is a natural response to real or perceived danger. Healthy fear causes us to lock our car doors, buy alarm systems, and to look both ways before crossing the street. Fear becomes unhealthy, however, when it controls our behavior and keeps us from doing positive things. Fear is learned behavior. We can learn it from childhood conditioning, personal experience, observation of other people's experience, media exposure, or other channels of information. Over the years, my apprehensions and trepidations learned through all these channels have been persistent; however, I have been equally persistent in my quest to overcome them.

Although I will generally use the term fears throughout the book, not all fears are created equally. Rather, they come in various degrees of intensity: anxieties, fears, and phobias. Let me explain the differences. Anxiety is the dread of a potential danger or loss in the future (e.g., possible terrorist attack); fear is the emotional response to a real or perceived present danger or threat (e.g., being followed); and a phobia is a fear gone wild. It is an irrational dread (e.g., fear of elevators) that seeks to avoid repeating a negative experience.

I've modeled the pattern. I saw my fear of earthquakes progress from anxiety about the predicted "big one," to extreme fear during a significant temblor, to quake-phobia in which I kept an overnight bag packed by the door. Further, until recently, I flatly refused to visit San Francisco under any circumstance due to its devastating quakes. It's no wonder that Paul admonished, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6). He knew that if we didn't nip anxiety in the bud, it would progress in its intensity and get a stronghold on our lives.

Whether an anxiety, fear, or phobia, Scripture declares that fear is not from God. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). As a woman of faith, I believe this and I passionately teach it. I also know that "believing is behaving." Therefore, in the final analysis, our behavior is the decisive test of what we really believe. When we succumb to the "spirit of fear," it is because we have embraced an erroneous belief about God and His ability or willingness to deliver us from the fear-triggering situation, person, or thing.

I have concluded that I will probably always have to battle one fear or another; however, I have resolved that I will not allow any of them to hinder my progress or derail my destiny. It was Mark Twain who remarked, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear."

My goal over the next thirty chapters is to show you how to master thirty common fears. To facilitate our journey, I have grouped these fears into four categories: health and safety fears, relational fears, emotional fears, and financial fears. However, as I contemplated all thirty, I found each to be rooted in one or more of only five core fears:

• fear of pain/death
• fear of inadequacy
• fear of loneliness
• fear of losing control/helplessness
• fear of lack

All fears are a manifestation and often a combination of these core fears. For example, the fear of aging is rooted in the fear of losing control of one's independence, the fear of being left alone, and for many, the fear of a lack of income to maintain a desired lifestyle. We will investigate possible root causes as we discuss each fear.

The solution to overcoming each of the fears involves the same basic approach: analysis and action. Therefore, I will put each fear in perspective by attempting to give insight and understanding of it through knowledge and education. I will also recommend practical steps to tame it and keep it from controlling you.

I am not a psychologist, hypnotist, or mental health professional. I simply put forth a practical approach to the issues of life based on biblical principles. I do not promise instant deliverance from your fears. I do believe, however, that if by faith in the Word of God, you implement the recommended strategies, you will experience peace instead of fear. This understanding is crucial to getting the most out of 30 Days to Taming Your Fears.

Now let's conquer those fears!

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